can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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