We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
