I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
