so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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