I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
