We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
it was like eating out sand paper
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
