i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
