my mouth tastes like poor choices
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
