If that was your dad, he is hot
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
