dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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