u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
