So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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