so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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