found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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