Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
