I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
