About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
