Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I didn't notice because vodka
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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