Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
