You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
