So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
no you cant smoke seaweed
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My vagina just recognized that song.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
