Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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