Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
