So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
