I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
