New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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