I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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