I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
