His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
