that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
