you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
