puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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