I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
