I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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