I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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