Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
