The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
