A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
