you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
