do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
