She is in my trunk
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
