she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
