You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
