my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
