Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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