Can Purell be used as lube?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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