All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Pooping to opera.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
