Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
