The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
please don't ironically join a cult
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