she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
