Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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